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It’s Not A Chore At All!

It’s Not A Chore At All!

There are many good reasons why parents should enlist the help of your little ones in the house.

Over and above getting some relief or for the children to learn and contribute a share for the family, chores help them to learn responsibility and lessons about life.

Parents can start to assign some simple chores to their children when they are three or four years old e.g. putting away the toys.

They may messed things up even more or take a long time to do a chore but this is essential for them to start learning to be a team player.

According to “More Than a Chore: Getting Things Done the Right Way” by Family Education, children will learn that a job well done is a reward on its own, and praises from parents or any other rewards e.g. going out to play are secondary benefits. 

In short, they will learn to possess an inner drive to do well rather than be dependent on external motivation.

In the same article, it is also explained that children will learn to delay gratification e.g. by doing their chores first before they can go out to play.

Learning to delay gratification is ranked by John Gray, PhD, in Children Are from Heaven, one of the "essential life skills".

Sounds great isn’t it? So now, here are some tips to help get your child started:

1. Be positive. This will help encourage your child to adopt the same attitude. 
2. Be fair. Hold a family meeting to discuss and assign chores to all family members. Where possible, do take into consideration individual preference.
3. Be participative & creative. Do some chores together with your child and make it fun by e.g. singing together while working. This can be a good bonding time too!
4. Be consistent. Set a schedule and help your child to work at the chores regularly.
5. Be realistic.  Everyone has his/ her own ways of doing things, even for the children. Avoid criticism or worse, jumping in to do the chore when it is not done the way preferred.
6. Be encouraging. Praising will help your child to feel appreciated and work at his/ her chores more willingly.

Reference Source: More Than a Chore: Getting Things Done the Right Way by Family Education 

UH-OH... Is Your Child Overspending?

UH-OH... Is Your Child Overspending?

It is not uncommon to hear how some parents can be surprised by the amount of money spent by their children, especially for the older ones, who would have learnt to enjoy more things in life.

Weekly allowance should be given to younger children because they are unlikely be able to focus on things on longer-term basis. However, monthly allowance is recommended for older children so as to help them learn and practice budgeting.

Upon handing out the money, some parents will get the children to start small by setting aside a fixed amount or a percentage of the allowance to be saved. 

There are also others who may leave the amount allocation to the child, as long as he/ she spends within the given sum, preferably with spares to save.

But wait! Is that good enough for your child to learn about money? How about teaching and helping your child to plan and set aside a simple budget?

While it is easy for parents to state how the money allowance is to be used and saved, it is more important for a child to be able to think and exercise control over his/ her money.

With a budget, it helps to set some guidelines for your child to allocate his/ her spending, savings and sharing e.g. for charity or gifts and so on.

Get started by first grabbing a paper and pen. Sit down with your child to determine the time frame for the budget. To make things easier, it could be based on weekly/ monthly allowance giving basis.

Run through with your child to list down the items that he/ she will have to spend on, as well as the prices. From the list of items, also known as expenses, find out which are the variable and fixed expenses.

This is the part where numbers matter

Fixed expenses are those that definitely need to be paid for, and of which the amount needs to be set aside strictly e.g. bus transport.

Variable expenses are those that are flexible and may vary in amount e.g. birthday gifts for friends. Despite that variable expenses will change, it is still necessary to set aside an estimated amount, and any unused amount could be passed on to the next round.

Do remember to get your child to include any wishlist items / those that they need to pay once a year e.g. Granny’s birthday.

If the budget time frame is weekly, he/ she will need to divide the cost by 52, and set this as a target amount to be saved weekly. Similarly, if the budget time frame is monthly, the amount will be by 12.

When the budget is done, do try it out and review it with your child for a few more rounds so that he/ she can get the hang of it to develop a good habit in budgeting for his/ her own money!

Positive Discipline

Help Your Child Feel Good & Behave Better

Parents always have the best interest of their children at heart however, children may not always behave the ways that parents would want them to. There are parents who think that discipline should include spanking, and some others who believe otherwise.

According to “Positive Discipline: A Guide for Parents” by the University of Minnesota and Children’s Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota, spanking is not recommended. Children who are guided by methods other than spanking generally have better mental health, feel better about themselves, and are less stressed.

In fact, the word discipline comes from a Latin word that means, “to teach.” Discipline helps children to understand what parents expect, how to behave, what happens when they misbehave and how to exercise self-control. Here are some ways to enforce positive discipline:

Find the Root Cause

There is usually a reason when a child misbehaves. He/she may be tired, hungry, frustrated, seeking for attention, testing limits or wanting control. Upon finding the real reason, you will have a higher chance of quieting down the child and getting him/ her to listen and behave.

Control Yourself, Not Just Your Child

Children tend to pick up the behaviours of their parents. When parents get angry and shout loudly at the child, the child may cry or scream even louder. It is not easy to keep your cool at all times and when necessary, walk away for a while.

Speak in Your Child’s Language

Whenever a child misbehaves, parents should take time to explain why that particular behaviour is undesirable.  When the child understands the kinds of behaviours to avoid, he/ she will then be more likely to behave “correctly” at different situations. When disciplining, parents should look at the child at the eye level, speak firmly on what he/ she has done wrong, and why. Do make a point to listen to what the child has to say too.

Distract & Direct

Children may tune out when parents nagged frequently for them to stop doing this or that. Try to distract and direct the child to behave proper by asking him/ her to do something else or offering him/ her two choices.  For example, when your child starts misbehaving in a supermarket, get him/ her to help pick out the good apples or choose between having to hold your hands or to walk quietly by himself/ herself.

Let Your Child Bear the Consequences

It is important for a child to experience the consequences of his/ her own undesirable behaviours to learn (where possible, and within safety levels). He/ she will then understand the need to exercise control over certain actions. For example, the parent may take away a toy that the child has willfully thrown around.

Praise & Encourage

A child is likely to repeat behaviors that get attention therefore, do praise and encourage the child when he/ she is well behaved, or corrected a bad behavior. This will help to reinforce good behaviours. The same theory applies when parents ignore a child for undesirable behaviours.

How Much Money Would You Give Your Child?

How Much Money Would You Give Your Child?

Giving money allowances to children comes naturally as part of their growing up phrases. Children need to experience handling money to learn its value.

However, this can be a headache for some parents when they are giving out an allowance for the first time or when the child is moving on to a next higher stage.

Most parents would probably start to give allowance only when the child is about to start Primary School, and will need to use money e.g. to buy canteen food.

 When should you start teaching about 
 money or giving allowance? 
 How much should you give? 
 How should you do it?

It is never too early to teach your child about money. This can start as early as when your child is 4 – 5 years old. Take opportunities to explain about money and inculcate good money values through daily events e.g. what is an economy, how does a bank operates, what are the different notes and coins, why saving, sharing and spending is important and so on.  

The amount of allowance to give your child may be best decided by estimating how much money you are currently spending on him/ her, and set that amount as the allowance. The amount given should be reasonable and realistic, taking into account the standards of living, the school environment, your child's age and the family's financial situations.

For most young children, long-term goals would be difficult to follow. It would probably be better to give them weekly allowance. For older children, monthly allowance is recommended so that they can practice budgeting.
In addition, it is better to teach your child to manage their own money than for them to request or ask for your permission for every single thing.

Discuss with your child on what the allowance will and can cover. Teach him/ her on how to spread out the given sum and plan for daily uses, as well as how to weigh his/ her choices carefully to keep to budget.

However, do also allow space for creativity and flexibility when your child wishes to spend on something that exceeds his/ her daily planned allocation. He/ she will have to learn to make up for the subsequent days, as long as the final end target is met.

Reference Sources:

Allowances for Children by Selena Hohenstein, University of Florida IFAS Extension

Giving Children an Allowance: Contrasting Views by Robert Brooks, Ph.D. Dr. Robert Brooks

What is Your Parenting Style?

What is Your Parenting Style?

How do you react when your child pleads to finish his/ her last round of mobile phone game before dinner? How about at times when your child is unable sit still or concentrate at school work? According to past research, there are 4 types of parenting styles and effects (Baumrind, 1967 and Maccoby & Martin, 1983).

Authoritarian Parenting where children are expected to follow the rules set by the parents strictly. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. This style leads to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.

Authoritative Parenting is similar to Authoritarian Parenting where children are expected to follow rules and guidelines. However, the parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. While the parents are assertive, they are not intrusive and restrictive. This style tends to result in children who are happy, capable and successful.

Permissive Parenting refers the style of parents who are nurturing and communicative with their children, often as like a friend more than that of a parent. They are more lenient and rarely discipline their children. This often results in children who rank low in self-regulation.

Uninvolved Parenting is usually the style of busy parents who will fulfill the child's basic needs but detached from their child's life. They are usually of few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. At such, their children tend to lack self-control and have low self-esteem.

While Authoritative Parenting style appears to be the best, parenting styles vary among couples and families due to differences in culture, beliefs, personality, parental background, educational level and so on. What is more important is for parents of each family to cooperate, combine various elements of their individual parenting styles to create a cohesive approach to parenting.

(Reference source: Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide)

You Are Your Child’s Best Role Model

You Are Your Child’s Best Role Model

Parents are their children’s first teacher and the biggest influence in their children’s lives. Children learn by observing and imitating their parents’ actions and words. It is never too early to start teaching your child about good money habits, and the best way to start is by being his/ her role model. Here are some tips on how you can be one.

Tip 1: Be consistent

Actions speak louder than words therefore, parents need to practice what they teach. If parents constantly fight/ stressed over money, their children are likely to overrate the importance of money. Similarly, if parents constantly splurge on luxury items, their children may never learn to live within their means.

Tip 2: Make the right buy

Teach your child to buy for quality and not price. He/ she should look for the most cost effective option and not the cheapest option e.g. a pair of $80 shoes that can last for a year vs. a pair of $20 shoes that can only last for 2 months. Prestige may not necessary be the best buy. While it is good for occasional self rewards with treats, it is important to be realistic and avoid too much of an extravagance. In addition, waiting for the right time helps in buying an item at a better price!

Tip 3: Decode advertisements

Advertisements are around us and pop up endlessly from the moment we step out of the house, from lifts, building facade, moving vehicles, bus stops to train interiors and even toilet doors and more! Most of the time, advertisements create “artificial social norms” and peer pressures create “artificial needs”. Run through the advertisements with your child to help him/ her understands what are advertisements all about and if the claims made are really true.

Tip 4: Set basic rules

Create basic money rules for yourself and your child to follow. When a trip to the supermarket is required, make a shopping list beforehand and stick to it. Determine if that pack of delicious chocolate milk is a need or a want. Have some fun “debating” it over with your child and take this chance to help develop his/ her reasoning, thinking and communication skills.

Tip 5: Pay attention to details

Do you know exactly what and how much you spent in total last week? Down to the cents? Set a household budget and take note of your actual spending and savings. Teach your child to compare prices among the different brands, clip regular discount coupons and take note of any special deals for potential great savings. Go through the household account with your child and have fun at by involving him/ her as your mini accountant to help with the recording or simple counting.

Tip 6: Be committed

"Like mastering a new language, developing athletic skills, or becoming a master musician, financial fluency requires time, practice, intention, the acquisition of financial language and values." ~ Joline Godfrey, author of Raising Financially Fit Kids. Indeed, forming a good habit takes time, effort and continuous reminders and practices with the children. Good money habits take more than just a few lectures on trying to get a child not to waste money or to save up more.