Positive Discipline

Help Your Child Feel Good & Behave Better

Parents always have the best interest of their children at heart however, children may not always behave the ways that parents would want them to. There are parents who think that discipline should include spanking, and some others who believe otherwise.

According to “Positive Discipline: A Guide for Parents” by the University of Minnesota and Children’s Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota, spanking is not recommended. Children who are guided by methods other than spanking generally have better mental health, feel better about themselves, and are less stressed.

In fact, the word discipline comes from a Latin word that means, “to teach.” Discipline helps children to understand what parents expect, how to behave, what happens when they misbehave and how to exercise self-control. Here are some ways to enforce positive discipline:

Find the Root Cause

There is usually a reason when a child misbehaves. He/she may be tired, hungry, frustrated, seeking for attention, testing limits or wanting control. Upon finding the real reason, you will have a higher chance of quieting down the child and getting him/ her to listen and behave.

Control Yourself, Not Just Your Child

Children tend to pick up the behaviours of their parents. When parents get angry and shout loudly at the child, the child may cry or scream even louder. It is not easy to keep your cool at all times and when necessary, walk away for a while.

Speak in Your Child’s Language

Whenever a child misbehaves, parents should take time to explain why that particular behaviour is undesirable.  When the child understands the kinds of behaviours to avoid, he/ she will then be more likely to behave “correctly” at different situations. When disciplining, parents should look at the child at the eye level, speak firmly on what he/ she has done wrong, and why. Do make a point to listen to what the child has to say too.

Distract & Direct

Children may tune out when parents nagged frequently for them to stop doing this or that. Try to distract and direct the child to behave proper by asking him/ her to do something else or offering him/ her two choices.  For example, when your child starts misbehaving in a supermarket, get him/ her to help pick out the good apples or choose between having to hold your hands or to walk quietly by himself/ herself.

Let Your Child Bear the Consequences

It is important for a child to experience the consequences of his/ her own undesirable behaviours to learn (where possible, and within safety levels). He/ she will then understand the need to exercise control over certain actions. For example, the parent may take away a toy that the child has willfully thrown around.

Praise & Encourage

A child is likely to repeat behaviors that get attention therefore, do praise and encourage the child when he/ she is well behaved, or corrected a bad behavior. This will help to reinforce good behaviours. The same theory applies when parents ignore a child for undesirable behaviours.